Hello lovelies and future brides!

A year ago at this time I was frantically running around trying to make sure that all of my ducks were in a row before my upcoming wedding. Maybe it’s my first anniversary coming up, or my sister’s recent engagement and now wedding planning, but I have found myself reflecting on that time in my life recently. It was so exciting, unnerving, and stressful, but there are days that had so much fun! There were also days when I wanted to pull my hair out and grab my now-husband’s hand and run right down to the courthouse.

As someone who planned their entire day, I figured a lot of things out about wedding planning by trial and error. I thought I would compile some of my most impactful thoughts to share with you about wedding planning and your big day. Whether you’re actively planning your big day, anticipating one, or have a friend or family member getting married soon, hopefully you take this post to heart!

Budget, budget, budget!

Let’s just go ahead and start with the least-fun topic concerning weddings: MONEY. Ya’ll, it takes a lot of money to get your Pinterest-style wedding of your dreams. (Don’t act like you haven’t had that Pinterest board for years….I know you, girl….) Even worse, this is also impacted by your location, time of year, and day of the week you decide to get married. I know it seems like the biggest day of your life, and while it is ONE of your most important days, there will be others. So let’s not put ourselves into crippling amounts of debt over having white doves fly out as you walk out of your wedding ceremony. Whether you’re receiving money from family or paying your own way, it’s important to have a set budget between you and your S.O. first and foremost. Then, work out the nitty gritty with others about what is available and being contributed. It’s uncomfortable to talk about money with anyone, but the more you talk about it the better you will feel about how your budget is being allocated. That brings me to my next topic….

STICKER SHOCK

If you don’t already know, wedding inflation is a very real phenomenon in our time. I once read an article about a daughter that recreated her entire parents simple wedding from the 1970’s down to the T, and paid almost 370% more overall. THAT IS INSANE! It’s extremely tempting once you get that beautiful ring on your finger to immediately dive in and start contacting as many vendors as you can, and start seeing all of the dollar signs flash right before your eyes. No matter what your budget (unless its unlimited and you’re a Kardashian), you will be shocked at what some things cost. Whether its thousands of dollars for cake, or a wedding venue that literally does nothing for you except provide walls and a ceiling and wants over $10K to do just that, don’t let the sticker shock disappoint or disgruntle you from still dreaming of your perfect day. So you can’t have the white doves fly out as you walk down the aisle, your day will be just as perfect without them. Don’t have the funds for the upgraded reception chairs? Just make sure no-one is sitting in them and they won’t even notice. Promise. Get those guests out on the dance floor. Just try to keep your budget in mind and prioritize where best to spend and splurge, and where you think you can scale things back.

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PLAN ONE THING AT A TIME

As I said above, it’s such an exciting time you immediately want to dive into the deep end on planning everything and anything. Or you could be on the opposite end of the spectrum and have no idea where to start. That’s why it’s usually great to use some sort of online resource such as The Knot or Zola. I used The Knot and really enjoyed its capabilities. It comes with a planning scheduler, plenty of reviews for vendors, free wedding websites, RSVP’s, and everything else. It was really great to have that added help since I knew I wasn’t going to use my budget towards a wedding planner. However, I will say this: don’t get too hung up on the exact timeline it or any other online resource provides you. Follow it loosely as it is helpful, but if you don’t have something done exactly as it says, the world will still keep going! Your venue/date should probably be booked first, then your photographer and catering, and then you can work in all of the other things in there. Whether you have 6 months or 18 months, it’s best to focus all your attention and search efforts into one area at a time so you don’t get too overwhelmed. There’s so many options nowadays, and with the added stress of the aforementioned sticker shock, you don’t want to go full-bridezilla early in the game. Give yourself some grace, and focus on that checklist and go one-by-one!

Wedding Let-Down

I still haven’t forgotten going to brunch with my family the day after our wedding. My mother turned to me during the brunch and explained that I was probably going to have some let-down at some point just because it was actually over. I believed her, but I didn’t know exactly what she meant until it happened. I felt a mix of emotions truly. I was relieved the day was finally over and the stress was gone, I was sad because we had so much fun and I had wanted it to last forever, and I was also excited because I couldn’t wait to jet off to Mexico with my new husband. But as I sat in the kitchen of our home the day after our wedding and our photographer emailed us a sneak peak of some photos, I couldn’t help but burst into tears. They were gorgeous. They were perfect. My day was absolutely perfect….and it was over.

I would honestly go relive my wedding over again in a heartbeat and I feel extremely lucky to say that. It was an amazing day for my husband and I. But boy, the range of emotions I felt as I sat there sobbing over my phone, wedding bouquet still fresh in the vase, was unreal. Luckily, we headed out for our honeymoon the next day, so I moved on quickly. But if you catch yourself experiencing wedding let down, don’t be ashamed to let it out. I worked for over a year in planning our big day, and it was over in one evening! That’s kind of craziness, but that’s how it works! All I say is to expect it, appreciate how wonderful your day was, and look forward to the rest of your life, because guess what….you’re married now!

Weddings ≠ Marriage

Last but not least, don’t forget when you’re bogged down and in the throws of wedding planning, that while this day is extremely important to you and your future life partner….it’s not the end. It is only the beginning. You’re planning a wedding, not your marriage. It’s the fun, celebrated beginning of your new life with your husband or wife! It’s a party, a fun occasion, and a blessing, but once it’s over and you’re over your wedding let-down, you enter your honeymoon phase and begin the throws of marriage. The first year of marriage is the hardest, some may say. And yes, it can be! You’re navigating new territory as no longer just yourself, but as a team. You’ll bicker, you will fight, and you will learn more about yourself and your partner in that first year. It is hard, and hard things take work, but it is the most rewarding thing to look forward to, getting to enjoy your life with your best friend and companion by your side every day of your life. My husband can annoy me just as much as I can annoy him, but I also guarantee that there is no-one else who makes me happier on a hard day or makes me laugh harder when I need it most. And I get to come home to that every day!

Just remember as you plan your big day, that while your day should include everything that celebrates you and your S.O. as a couple, it also is only the beginning of a long and rewarding road of companionship.

So hopefully you take these tips to heart, and if you’re in a deep dive of wedding planning, just remember to breathe and think about how wonderful your special day will be once it gets here! (Also, I highly recommend hair and makeup trials…I forgot that one) On September 22nd, 2018, I had my perfect day…and soon you will too!

xoxo, Chelsea